“Intentional Insensitivity” – I coined this term recently because I’m learning how “not to care” about people who don’t care about who I am and what I do.

It’s hateful being around insensitive people. These are people who are either naturally obnoxious or may not be aware that they have “abrasive character.” Personalities like cactus that hurts you whenever you come in close contact with them.

I have met so many insensitive people in my life. And to deal with them, I either do one of three things:

  • Give them benefit of the doubt – I give them the benefit of the doubt. They could be busy focused on other things that they may not be aware that they’re already hurting others with their words or actions. We all have blind spots after all.
  • Confront them – If they have already exhibited pernicious atrocity, I confront and correct them, especially if I’m affected by their bad behavior. Why will I put up with the way they are if they’re every move is wreaking havoc to everyone around them? I won’t let that happen! Never!
  • Get as far from them as possible – If after doing these two things they still have not change, then there’s no hope for them for now. I veer away from them as far as I could so as not to ruin my day. If my performance at work or view of life gets clouded by their evil deeds, I either cut the relationship or avoid them like the plague.

But intentional insensitivity is different. It is a counter response to barbaric, cruel, and graceless behavior.

Why will you waste your time, energy, and effort for people who don’t really care about whatever you do for them? Those time, energy, and effort could better spent in more productive tasks.

The greatest human need is to be appreciated, validated and loved.

People go where they’re needed and appreciated.

People naturally gravitate towards other people who accept them just as they are.

People love to hang out with people who make them feel good about themselves or in the life that they’re living.

People pursue people who help them grow.

People cherish people who make them feel valued.

Relationships that bring mutual benefits, whether tangible and intangible, are a breath of fresh air. Relationships with this nature make you feel come alive.

Mutually beneficial relationships make you thrive.

Don’t just survive from rejections. Thrive from it. Reject rejection.

Pursue mutually beneficial relationships.

Adrian is a Resource Speaker, Events Host, Writer, Teacher, and Change Catalyst. His mission is to inspire personal development so people could have better lives with brighter future, against all odds. He is also an IELTS- and TESOL-certified English Trainer. Adrian offers world-class events hosting at local cost. He's open to giving talks at schools, churches, and companies.

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